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rolling with the punches

I’m really horrible at rolling with the punches. It must be a skill only the most talented have the ability to do. Either that or I’m challenged in this department (most likely). What I mean by rolling with the punches is to be able to go with the flow. To not get upset and majorly discouraged when things don’t go as planned. Most of all, I think it means being strong and confident in your abilities to make things alright.

I’m a planner, an obsessive planner to put it lightly. I like to organize my life in a way that I know I’ll be pleased with the outcome. I have good intentions for my actions, but when things don’t go as planned I hope you’re wearing boxing gloves. Recently I’ve noticed that even the smallest of mishaps tend to push me off my rocker. I usually take the easy way out and blame it on daily stressor and my slightly crazy personality, but I must say…it’s hard living life like this.

My boyfriend is extremely good at rolling with the punches. All things, big or small, don’t seem to phase him. He’s shrugs it off and says things like “shit happens” and then he’s back to playing video games or watching YouTube videos. How does he do it? How can your dog barfing in the back seat of the car be a learning experience? Whaa? To me it’s more like an experience from hell! I know for a fact that it’s not a lack of passion on his part or a “who gives a fluff”  kind of attitude, because he’s one of the most passionate/dedicated people I know. It baffles me how he thinks the glass can always be half full while I’m sitting here debating with him about how I know for sure that it’s half empty. ( I have proof, y’all)

I hate this about myself. I’m becoming more aware of my flaws as I grow into my skin. I see things in myself that I don’t like, strive to change them, but out of bad habit and comfort I go back to doing things they way “I do things”. I have a hard time seeing when I’ve been successful and when I’m just missed the mark by a hair like smig. To the boy everything is a “mini-win” and nothing is a failure. Really??? Says who???

The boy reminds me on a daily basis that getting a single sale in my etsy shop or 3 people to comment on a blog post is a “mini win”. What would I do without him….oh I know. I’d go around telling myself that one etsy sale is pitiful and that 3 blog comments is nothing compared to this or that. I’m looney and I know it. I’m working on it, so don’t judge.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on how you see things as mini wins and how you strive to see the positive in the simple things. I’m trying to change my attitude around, but it’s been challenging. It’s kind of like working magic turning a glass half empty into a glass half full, ya know?

13 comments on “rolling with the punches

  1. My husband and I are sorta 50/50 on this subject. I easily shrug things off when I know there is nothing you can really do to fix it. For example, if we get a crack in the windshield or we have to have the fridge repaired, I let those things roll off pretty easily, where he majorly stresses about it. On the other hand, when I am working on a personal project, I have a harder time going with the flow when something does not turn out right or there is a dent in my plans. He has really helped me in this area to learn to just take a breath, reassess the situation and see where changes are needed or where they can be made and to realize that it is in fact MY project so the outcome of right or wrong is only relative to me. I can make changes or scrap the entire thing and start over or whatever the case may be and as long as I settle on a plan I am happy with that is all that matters 🙂

  2. Oh dear, I feel like I could have written this myself. And my boyfriend is the same way… so much better at rolling with the punches than I am. I have a tendency to stress out about anything and everything… it would just be so much better if things went along with my plans!

    I’m not very good at seeing things as “mini wins” as you call them, so instead I’ve been working on trying to focus on the good things that happen during a day, not the bad/annoying/stressful/pull-your-hair-out things. It sounds cliche, but sometimes it really does help. When I actually think about it, there are so many more blessings that fill my day.

    PS – I am in love with that third photo – it’s absolutely beautiful.

  3. Hey Cassie, I completely know where you’re coming from. I feel like our personalities are pretty similar. I’m a planner and a stresser. I’m always thinking ahead and planning out situations. I think I try to predict how I want my life or a certain situation to go. I think about that situation constantly and have anxiety about it and when it finally comes around and doesn’t go exactly as planned out in my head, I collapse. Bascially, I turn into a seriously moody bitch. Haha.
    I absolutely need to work on this. I need to try and relax and go-with-the-flow sometimes.It’s hard though.
    And I know the ‘no comment’… why am I even wasting my time posting this feeling. My audience is probably around 20 people… but I get that feeling everyday. And sometimes I just want to quit. But, I just remind myself that I’m doing this for me and me alone. I’m learning and will get better and that’s exactly what I want out of it.
    Anyway, that’s all the word vomit I have for you today.
    I love your blog.

  4. Hi, I read your blog all the time, but this is my first comment and that’s because I now realize how we are very similar. I’ll just say that i still didn’t change my attitude and i tend to beat myself up over the small things and big just the same. But I believe it’s a process and i believe that one day i’ll just stop. the good thing is i now realize this is not good for me, for my mind and even my body. and the best thing is that i, just like you,, have a boy who makes equilibrium in my life, who doesn’t freak out about things and has such an uplifting spirit and attitude, not that he is never sad or disappointed but than i feel like i have to make the equilibrium. i guess it’s a law of nature that girls like us are attracted to the boys like them, and we should enjoy having them and try to feed of their positive energy and with time we’ll become more relaxed:)
    sorry if i bored you to death
    love your blog and the number of comments shows nothing but i’ll comment as much as i can if that’ll make you happier 🙂

  5. Oh yeah, I get disheartened so easily and every so often I’ll have a big crying fit over the tiniest of setbacks (in fact, I had one this afternoon). I like to think it’s part of an artistic personality – if you’ve got a good imagination, sometimes it’s going to backfire on you and make you imagine the worst.

    Luckily, my boyfriend is good at shrugging stuff off. Within a week of getting together, I told him straight out that if I’m crying I don’t need him to fix the problem for me – I just need him to give me a hug until I’ve pulled myself together. He does that. And it works.

  6. You ready for a laugh? I launched my blog right after i moved and have lost a) my digital cameras (so i have only cellphone pictures), b) my digital camera’s battery charger (so even if i find the camera i can’t use it), and c) my video camera’s battery charger (so i can’t post any videos of my band). i feel like i’m jogging uphill while someone’s pouring marbles at my feet half the time. every time i even get a new post up it’s been a mini-victory. it’s easy to let setbacks like these get you down, and i definitely fall into that same negativity trap as you pretty often. but whenever somebody comments on a new post it makes me so happy, so all of the angst is totally worth it. and i figure i’m learning the hard way how to generate original content without any bells and whistles. i know it sounds cliche to say we learn from these challenges, but it really is true. how about instead of trying to prove to your boyfriend that the glass is half-empty, just take a deep breath and really try to see it his way. i’m not sure what the lesson to be learned from dog barf is, but it sounds like if anybody does it’s him! 😉

  7. I feel like I could have written this post – I do the exact same thing, and my husband is the same way as your boyfriend. He’s constantly trying to raise me up and I’m fighting with him all the way back down, haha! I think each time I expect something to be horrible and have it go alright or at least not catastrophically, I learn a little bit more that maybe, sometimes, I know what I’m doing and do a good job. It helps to have someone there who supports you 100%, 100% of the time. <3 Good luck m'lady!

  8. I am totally right there with you! Reading this was almost as if I wrote it! It’s a constant battle within yourself. Sometimes I just think about how lucky I am in my life, career, health, home, everything. If I’m stressing about blog comments and etsy sales, that’s nothing compared to what people really go through. Sounds like you’re a lucky girl to have a boy like you have. I’m lucky too to have the husband I do. Just breathe.

    ♥ sécia

  9. Can I sign my name at the end of this post? I feel like we are totally on the same page. I’m USUALLY a “roll with the punches happy go lucky” kind of girl but lately I’ve been feeling more anxious and overwhelmed than anything. Sigh. Let’s go for pedicures and wine haha.

  10. I love the idea of the mini win. My glass half full comes from working with young people. They are so much like Eyeore that i have to be tigger to stop them only thinking in one way. Keep smiling and think about everything you have to be grateful for. Works for me x x

  11. i wish i could comment on this post giving great advice as to how to see things win-win, but unfortunately i am the same as you. and my husband is the same as your guy, always seeming so passive and roll with the punches. it can be so frustrating, but i think having him helps me see things differently (on occasion). nevertheless, you are amazing. i know that’s not what you were fishing for with this post, but you are. keep on keepin’ on sister 🙂

  12. Girl, I SO know how you feel. I am definitely in the same boat as you when it comes to these kinds of things. I have a really difficult time with change and conflict, even though it seems to follow me.

    I love that your sweetheart gives you encouragement and mini wins. That is so important to us kind of people who can easily become discouraged.

  13. Great post. Nice to see so many people relate.
    IMO, the opposite of planning & perfection is accepting impermanence.
    Eastern philosophy has the idea of impermanence right.
    Take sand gardens as an example.

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