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Veda News: Fish Floppin' + Decision Makin'

Have you ever been floundering so much that at the end of it all, you just feel like pouting in the corner and giving up? That was me last week. I had reached a point where I had so many thing on my “I want to-do this” list, but just didn’t have enough hours in the day/week/month to achieve them. It’s completely overwhelming/crushing to be 100% inspired to achieve something and to have less than 0% of the energy to put into it.

For me, my days are spent at the advertising agency usually clocking in about 45-50 hours on an average week. With this schedule I am left with only a few hours each night to work on my “I really want to-do this” list and let me tell you…nights are not the time of day I feel most inspired. I usually come home cranky with a sour taste in my mouth feeling like all I want to do is sit my batootie on the couch and watch Mad Men. So when am I supposed to knock things off my list?? Who flippin’ knows.

So in the midst of my mini breakdown that happened the other night I decided I needed to get focused again. I’m one of those people that loves so many things (blogging, photography, cinema, knitting, thrifting, etc ) all at the same time that it’s hard for me to dedicate A LOT of time to any one thing. I’m working on changing that around a bit. Starting now…

This blog is going to become a little more focused on subject matter. You’ll see the same design/photography posts, just less of them. I plan on regaining my Saturdays & Sundays as “ME” days with no blog posts. I’m also going to be throwing in some more personal posts. I look forward to sharing with you my journey into becoming a full-time freelancer and gaining some reader insights along the way (this whole process is really scary you guys!). I also look forward to sharing more of my personal photography that has been evolving over the last couple months. Lastly, I’m going to start to share more of my design process and projects when I can. 

Does that sound like a plan?? I feel like this little transition in my online space will help things move more smoothly in my freetime in the evenings as well as my freetime on the weekends.

Is anyone else feeling like their blog’s identity is getting a little fussy or that they just don’t have enough time in the day to do what you WANT to do? I’d love to hear your thoughts 🙂

Photo by Savannah Martiniere

23 comments on “Veda News: Fish Floppin' + Decision Makin'

  1. wow, this sounds exactly like me right now! my full time job as marketing/art director starts with me getting up at 6am and getting home around 6pm (unless the traffic is worse than usual, and then it can be up til 7pm – ugh!) then i have to re-focus, get inspired and start my freelance projects/rue projects. there is no “me time” or time to work out, have hobbies or personal projects. the weekends are devoted entirely to freelance work. my blog has really suffered lately due to a complete lack of time/energy. of course i love blogging, design, art and still am inspired to do it – but at the end of the day i just feel so spent (physically, emotionally and sometimes creatively). it’s definitely overwhelming and it’s comforting to know others are in the same boat. like you, i want to be 100% freelance – i know it’s scary as hell and tough to get there…and that it’s still hard work + not as carefree as it may seem; but it’s got to be better than pouring all your efforts into a job you aren’t totally passionate about. i can’t wait for both of us to get there! and i know the only way i’m going to get out of my current rut is to get that “me time”. it’s hard to know where to start on that though – i hate to turn down projects (which i have had to lately…sad) because i know they are a stepping stone to being fully freelance…but then how do i make more time? what are your thoughts about that? so appreciate of your candor, cassie…and the effort put forth into writing this post when you’re exhausted already. i’ve been trying to write about this for weeks, but have been too caught up in other things, ha! 😉

    1. Thanks so much for pouring your heart out, sweet Amy. I’m still trying to figure out a balance of things so that I don’t loose my mind. I’ve had to cut back on some things, just so the basics (like sleep & eating) aren’t neglected. I made a list of my top 10 favorite things to do and decided to really REALLY focus on those top 5. I felt like I needed to be better at those top 5 and the items towards the bottom of the list I was fine just being OK at. I also decided that I needed to dedicate my weekend to doing whatever the hell I wanted to do. Usually that means catching up on blogging, taking snapshots around the city, reading a book, watching my favorite TV shows, and taking naps. I need to allow myself to do that to be ready to go for the next week.

      Also, instead of drowning myself in freelance work (in hopes of building a solid client list), I’ve decided that it’s more beneficial to me to research everything I can about the freelance world, get all my legal documents/forms in order, and come up with a process that will allow me to jump into full-time freelance with a bit more confidence. I’m only on about week 3 of this plan, so I’ll let you know how it goes. (more to come in another blog post)

    2. @Amy,

      I read your post and this comment from Amy and it seems like i’m reading my own thoughts!! I feel helpless because I have many ideas and inspirational moments but can not find time to do it…

      I work 9 hours per day with a fashion designer and I just have the nights and weekends to do what I want…

      Thanks for your advices girls! I’m glad to know that i’m not the only one who feels like that.

  2. I feel like the blog-girl world is going a little crazy lately! So many blogs that I read and admire seem to be going through this same sort of process (moxee, jessica c., pennyweight, etc.). Maybe it’s the competitive spirit we all have, but everyone is trying to be better than the next (in some way) – post more, have more interesting content – and it’s refreshing to see you and some of the others kick back and start to reflect on the purpose of it all. It’s inspiring that you’re driving it all back home. Big kudos to you and the others for making the step and taking some more time for you! You have a beautiful aesthetic, and I wish you all the luck in the world as you head towards full-time freelancer status! *go go go Cassie!!* <–internet cheerleading 😉

    1. Thanks so much Kelsey. I feel like if you are a creative person (artist, designer, etc) and you have a blog, it’s only natural to want to make what you’re doing better. I feel the competition is perfect because it gives you something to strive towards. I do however agree with you when you say that we all need to reflect on what we are doing to make sure that our intentions, goals, and process are fitting to who we are. Competition is great for a creative, but there are times when we all need reminded that it’s not a game, and only use competition in positive ways. Thanks for stopping by Kelsey!

  3. this is how I feel everyday. I work as a sales person at a car dealership 4 days a week am a full time college student and am trying to start my own business selling my grooming products. And like you said night time is not the right time for me to do these things. I have my fingers crossed for you and know that you will achieve your dreams!

    1. Oni,
      Being a full time student who works several times a week AND is trying to start their own business is one of the toughest jobs you’ll always have. When I’m feeling overwhelmed by all the obligations I have, I remind myself that I’m doing this to get to that next step (and remember to stop and smell the roses along the way :). Thanks for posting your thoughts!

  4. I’m really excited to see your process. I absolutely love everything you post and I’m exicited to see your more “personal-side”. Good luck with your transition.

    1. Thanks for stopping by Mary-Jane. It’s good to hear some feedback about sharing some more of my personal things. Stay tuned!

  5. I completely understand what you’re feeling, Cassie. I was a film major in college, and while there I also discovered my love for graphic design and photography. I would love to do ALL three things. Dance is my first love, and I would love to open a dance studio, or teach. I also love music and have thought, many times, about working in the music industry in marketing or something. There’s just so much to do! And experience! And accomplish! And I get super overwhelmed sometimes, that I feel like I just kind of stand in the middle of the chaos that is my brain… doing nothing. I admire those people who have such a clear, realistic vision of what they want to do, I wish I were like that. And maybe this is just a quarter life crisis or something, and in the next year, I’ll figure it all out and everything will be just fine… 😉 But right now – I’m feeling a little lost!

    I really appreciate your honesty and transparency. Sometimes, being a part of this blogging community – it can feel like everyone else has it all together, you know? So I love that you shared this… it’s nice to know that I’m not the only one feeling overwhelmed. Thanks, love. I’m here for you! xo.

    1. Thanks for dropping by today and sharing your thoughts. I think the blogging community does a really great job at hiding really, but really we are all staring at our screens saying “how are they doing it”? I think everyone needs to be reminded of that every now and again. 🙂 Hang in there lady!

    1. Thanks sweet lady. You’ve been beyond helpful and extremely supportive through all my “help me!!!” emails and chats. SO thankful!

  6. It’s such a relief to hear so many people going through the same thing. I can definitely relate. I work full time, go to dance class three times a week and blog 2-4 times a week. I love all of those things but there are so many other things I want to do. Last month I added sewing a dress for a wedding and designing my own kitchen renovation to my to-do list and I swear, I think my brain was going to explode and I was completely zapped of energy. Which meant I really struggled to have the same enthusiasm for my blog. Not only that, but any social time tended to end with me getting tired and leaving early.

    Then I start thinking that maybe i should just quit blogging and spend more time sewing and dancing and textile dying or whatever it is I feel like doing at the time. But then I remember I love blogging and that’s what inspired me to do all those things in the first place! Urgh…so confusing.

    I’ve considered blogging a little less and spending more time making and then sharing things on the blog as a way to keep me motivated to make. But then, I normally blog about things that are so developed and considered that the thought of putting my weekend craft adventures alongside these intensely clever and beautiful artists/designers makes me really anxious.

    I suppose we just have to take the plunge and bare our creative souls. I must say, when I see other bloggers do this I always find it really fascinating…just working up the courage to do it myself is really hard. I also find the prospect of blogging only once or twice a week a bit freaky, as blogging has become such a part of my routine.

    We’ve had a few peeks into your work, so I have no doubt that what you have to share will be beautiful and engaging. Looking forward to watching the transition!

    PS.Sorry for this rambling comment.It’s been on my mind so kind of came out like an explosion of word vomit.

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  8. Oh my goodness. Thank you for writing this. I have been feeling so overwhelmed lately with a full time job and then trying to come home and do the “passion work.” I feel like I need to constantly be working, doing the things I actually want to do and cultivating the life I want. But it is nonstop. I try to give myself the weekends to spend with my boyfriend and friends, not blog, just relax. I have really found that doing this has been great for my creative side too. I find that when I give myself time to rest, all of the creative stuff starts coming. But, yeah, there is just not enough time in the day. Best of luck to you!

    1. Thanks for sharing your story Heidi. It’s comforting to know lots of people feel the same way about their creative side/ hobbies.

  9. Yes! You are not alone. I’m a high school art teacher and I spend 110% of my creative energy at work. By the time I get home, all those ideas I woke up with just don’t seem worth doing anymore. It can really depress me! But I’m actually about to take the leap into “self employment” as an artist at the end of this school year…yippee and yikes and the same time!

  10. Sounds like a perfect plan.
    It’s hard to find time to do ‘everything,’
    I think it’s a lifelong balancing act.
    I was hard when I worked full-time.
    I was hard when I started doing freelance work.
    And it’s even harder now with a family of little kids added to the mix.
    You’re doing a great job with your blog – it’s clear to me how much thought you put into it.
    Ronnie xo

  11. So, I’ve read your blog before, but it’s been a while since I’ve checked up on any of my favorites. I’ve been thinking about going back to school for graphic design. I have an online literary/lifestyle journal I want to do more with (go to print eventually and have a little more control over branding & design), and I remembered you had this journey to freelance section of your blog I thought I’d check out. If you have ANY advice you can give me about this whole process I would love to hear from you! I’m also curious what I should start doing now to get a jumpstart (say, in blogging or anywhere else) in learning design or getting involved with an online community. I’m actually terrible at drawing. I’ve never been very artistically inclined, but it’s my hope that that’s something I can improve skill-wise and with more exposure/development. Anyway, I love your blog and you have the same eye for design and minimalist aesthetic that I like, so I wanted to say hello and that I’ll be perusing your blog for advice and inspiration. I hope you have a lovely week!

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